


Maragda

by Chantelle



Series: After Life [1]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: Gen, M/M, Reincarnation AU, everyone else is just mentioned, flowery words are flowery, i think this is nonsense, sort of, suzalulu if you squint i guess, there isn't actually any suza/euphie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:30:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chantelle/pseuds/Chantelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He would think of sunflower fields and cherry blossoms, of the summer heat in an old storage house. He would think of kids' games and young laughter, of long-lasting friendships and promises of forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maragda

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Code Geass and its characters do no belong to me. This plot does, however. The same work, along with its sequel, can also be found on my FFN and Tumblr accounts. There have been slight changes, though, since I re-typed this (copy-pasting is a bitch sometimes) and edited along the way. If you find any errors, please inform me. Thanks!
> 
> On another note, please remember that this is written in the point of view of someone who does not know the truth of what went on in the series.

It was all strange, really. Every night, he would dream, and every time he awoke, he would forget. No matter how hard he tried, he always forgot. It bothered him, so much so that if he was not sleeping ( _dreaming_ ), he was wondering what the dreams were about. Sometimes he would get something, a fleeting image of what he had dreamt of - before it would vanish once more, leaving him to feel as if he had just tried to catch the wind with his bare hands. _  
_

Sometimes, he would  lie in the Ashford Academy's rooftop, and he would remember things, strange things. He would think of sunflower fields and cherry blossoms, of the summer heat in an old storage house. He would think of kids' games and young laughter, of long-lasting friendships and promises of forever.

But sometimes, the things he would remember were not as peaceful, though they were just as strange. He would think of ashes and destroyed houses, of the heat of fire in a battlefield. He would think of strange machines with guns (like bigger, bulkier Knightmare Frames, so different from what they looked like now) and people screaming, of heart-wrenching betrayal and broken promises.

It was all strange, very strange. It didn't help matters that he was Lelouch vi Britannia, son to Arthur el Britannia and Elaine vi Britannia, a direct descendant of Nunally vi Britannia, and therefore a relative of the 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire Lelouch vi Britannia. It scared him sometimes, especially as he was said to look exactly like his great-great-great-something grandfather. He would have loved to deny it, and sometimes he did in his head, but when faced with a picture of the once-feared man, he knew it was the truth. The resemblance between them was uncanny. From the purple eyes, to the black hair, down to how they smiled - they were the same. He had a feeling that if someone were to get hold of a video or voice recording of the older man, people would say that they even  _sound_  alike. It scared him, and when it didn't scare him, it made him wonder. It wasn't a coincidence, surely, that he was so much like the former emperor. That he had all these weird thoughts he didn't know a single thing about.

When he wasn't thinking of all that, he would be thinking of colors. There would be splashes of pink, coupled with a light shade of purple (much like cousin Euphy's hair, or Aunt Cornelia's), sometimes a shade of orange (quite like Shirley's hair, or Vice Principal Jeremiah's eyes). Other times there would be dark yellow or even navy blue (and he couldn't help but think of President Milly and her fervent admirer, Rivalz). Sometimes there would be glimpses of magenta, and a kind of bright green that he couldn't really explain (he's remember Kallen, one of the members of the student council, and the enigmatice CC, whose real name no one knew). There were so many colors, and so many people.

The dominant color, though, was this particular shade of green, much like emeralds ( _real_ emeralds, not the cheap imitations you'd find in a market). And whenever he thought of it, this warm feeling would wash over him, and it would feel like everything was right in the world, and he would forget everything else in that moment. Then he would jerk as he realized that that shade of green, the one that was much like emeralds,  _real_ emeralds, was also much like the green of Kururugi Suzaku's eyes. Kururugi Suzaku, sone of Japan's last Prime Minister, Kururugi Genbu; pilot of Lancelot, once Princess Euphemia li Britannia's Knight, before he became the Knight of Seven of the Knight of Rounds, and then the Knight of Zero, until his death at the second decisive battle of Tokyo. Lelouch was very much familiar with the color of the man's eyes, as he was included in most, if not all, of what was left of Emperor Lelouch's photos and portraits.

That scared him more than the thought of being so similar to the dead emperor. At he was actually  _related_ to the first Lelouch vi Britannia; but feeling warm and secure at the thought of Kururugi Suzaku's eyes - that was  _ridiculous_ ( _yet true_ ). Kururugi Suzaku had been dead for many years, dead even before the emperor himself had died. Why would Lelouch feel so strongly for  _a dead man he had never met?_ It was irrational and so much stranger than his other thoughts. And it  _scared_ him, scared him like nothing else could. It was like a silent proof to his theories, a testament to what could possibly be the truth.

And he didn't want to accept that truth, because Emperor Lelouch had been nothing more than a dictator, a murderer who lied to and betrayed all who had cared for him. It was bad enough that he was related to that Lelouch; bad enough that he resembled the man; bad enough that he thought and dreamt of strange things, things he didn't know of and didn't remember. Then his mind would be taken over by Kururugi Suzaku, of eyes much like emeralds ( _real_ emeralds, not the cheap imitation you'd find in the market), and he wanted to  _scream_.

Sometimes he'd catch the faint whiff of pizza where there was none, and he'd think of festivals and old models of Knightmare Frames and large servings of pizza that could never be made. He'd remember the cold night air, watching fireworks light up the sky from a balcony somewhere in the Ashford Academy, with faceless people he felt should be important, but whose identities he could never remember. He'd remember green cellphones and white and gold heart-shaped charms, of light purple eyes and short light brown hair and the feeling of everything being  _wrong_ , but at the same time being right, and realizing important things much too late.

He'd remember being in a cramped space, with someone else blocking the exit ( _Kururugi Suzaku_ , his mind supplied), and he would meet the man's eyes, the eyes much like emeralds (real _emeralds, not-_ ), and he would give the command to  _live_. And he'd think that indeed, the man had continued to live despite the odds  _multiple_ times, but  _he couldn't remember, and what the hell was he just thinking of?_

There were times when, in a crowd of people, he'd think of black and blue masks and  _ridiculous_ white hats, of strange eyes with strange bird-like shapes instead of pupils, of orders that could not be disobeyed and the accidental meeting of eyes that would change the future. He would feel as if he were drowning in regret, wanting to atone for sins he had never committed ( _in this lifetime_ ). And he would have this insane urge to apologize to cousin Euphy ( _I never meant to do it, I'm so sorry, I stained your hands with the blood of many-_ ). But mostly he'd get the urge to apologize to Kururugi Suzaku ( _Kururugi Suzaku, with the eyes much like emeralds,_ real _emeralds, not the-_ ) and tell him everything, the truth, the lies ( _I never meant to do it, I'm so sorry, I stained her hands with the blood of many, I stained_ your _hands with the blood of many, and I lo-_ ).

Sometimes he would hear a voice, a boyish voice, calling out his name, and he would feel like calling back ( _Hey, Suza-_ ). But there would never be anyone there, and he would berate himsef for almost saying that name aloud ( _Kururugi Suzaku_ ), the name of the man he had never met ( _would never meet_ ). And then he would hear the sound of laughter, familiar laughter ( _Kururugi Suzaku_ ), and he would feel like  _screaming_. And he  _would_ scream, when he was alone, until the screams turned to broken-hearted shouts of that name ( _Kururugi Suzaku_ _!_ ).

Sometimes he would think of sunflower fields and cherry blossoms, of the summer heat in an old storage house. He would think of kids' games and young laughter, of long-lasting friendships and promises of forever. And he would think of a certain pair of green eyes, a green much like emeralds,  _real_ emeralds, not the cheap imitations you'd find in the market.


End file.
